This is a continuation of the previous blog post about Milwaukee arcades, where my buddy Tom and I got bored of the lockdowns and went out to a few arcades that had recently reopened. I was planning on skipping this arcade completely, but Tom said he’d never been to a barcade before, and we had extra time. Unfortunately, it’s taken us almost a year and a half to write this, so Tom’s memory is fuzzy, to put it mildly. We do these posts by going through the images one by one and talking about them, so we just sorta have to remember things as we go.
This is one of them “barcades” that are so popular now.
No, that isn’t.
What was the barcade called?
The barcade was Up-Down, but this wasn’t that.
This is the pizza place we hit up first.
Right. We had a bitch of a time finding parking.
After we found parking, it turned out that they had a special area specifically for this pizza place.
All of this was during the height of COVID panic so I can’t imagine how horrible it would be to find parking in normal times. But yeah, we totally missed an easier place to park.
Well, I don’t think it was the height, exactly. Since the bars and stuff were actually open.
Fair cop. But it was the tail end of 2020, anyway
Speaking of which, it was kind of a half-artsy, half-dirty feeling pizza place. The kind of pizza place you find in uptown areas. I feel like we went to a similar one last time you were in town, like 4 or 5 years ago.
Yeah. I remember getting a pizza you had no earthly interest in, so we ended up with two personal pan sized pizzas.
That same thing happened in Chicago too, come to think of it…
You have very basic taste in pizza, can’t help that.
Pepperoni is the benchmark! You can’t compare different types.
Pepperoni is classic, but I always try something adventurous if I’m somewhere new.
I prefer to always get pepperoni to compare it to pizzas in other towns I’ve had. Speaking of which, this one was mostly dry crust. Reminded me a bit of the pizza in Denver.
So, nothing too great?
Nah, pretty forgettable.
Anyhow, THIS was Up-down.
I feel like we were just about the only people actually playing the cabinets.
Well, they JUST re-opened… It’s a miracle this one is even still open today. We’ve lost a LOT of arcades in the last three years. Guess how many DDR machines have disappeared here in the Twin Cities.
Hmm… I’ll put the over/under on 10.
We used to have 20. Now we have 6. That’s how bad things are.
Jesus. That’s really sad. And really that’s just one small slice of the overall economic impact everywhere. Tough times.
Anyhow, what was your impression of the overall atmosphere?
Grungey. Squalid. Sticky.
Yep, that’s an average barcade for you. It was your first time seeing one.
Yep. Gotta say, not blown back by it. If you ranked strictly just the barcades you’ve been to, how would it stack up?
Completely average. I’ve seen some spectacular barcades over the years, but I’ve also seen some REALLY awful ones.
At least my initial experience didn’t set an unattainably high bar, then.
No, but do understand that much better and worse ones exist. Hell, there’s a really tiny one out where you live.
Anyway, I also want to point out the arcade game in the middle of the photo. That’s Lucky and Wild, a game you basically NEED 2 people to really experience. This is the second time we’ve run into it, and the second time it wasn’t functioning.
Out of order was pretty typical in this place. No big surprise.
Absolutely. I’d say about half of the games were out of order.
I’ve gotten used to the fact that most arcades have several machines down at any given time, but this one had to have the highest proportion of non-working cabinets I’ve seen.
Well, a good number of the machines were also hidden under a tarp for “social distancing” purposes, including VS Balloon Fight.
That was one that really bummed you, right?
Yeah. It’s one of the few Nintendo VS titles that actually plays a bit differently than the original.
How so?
It comes in a double cabinet, and both players have their own screen, so they can scroll individually. That’s about it, really. I think the only other VS game to do that was Tennis.
They did have VS Dr. Mario, though.
Man, I suck at Dr. Mario.
You’ve got to focus on combos, not clearing the viruses.
Same dealio in Tetris Vs, which makes sense, since Dr. Mario is just worse Tetris.
Oh right, there’s a VS Tetris, isn’t there? Have you ever seen that one before?
Not in an arcade cabinet, but I’ve played vs mode Tetris on consoles.
Ah. The VS is specifically the name for Nintendo’s line of NES arcade ports. Even the single-player ones. I think it’s because the early ones were games like Tennis that you can play against each other.
I have to imagine there’s a Tetris Vs in this lineup too, then. Tetris was one of the biggest NES era games. Maybe the rights issues might complicate things though.
Yep, it’s based on Tengen Tetris. Although it’s a bit redundant since Tetris was originally (edit: I meant “already”) an arcade game. Gradius also had both an arcade and VS arcade release.
I thought the original Tetris was a home PC game
It was. I meant the original Tetris had an arcade version.
I see
But there are like 30 other arcade versions of Tetris, so it’s not a big deal.
I swear my joystick was busted. None of the basic QCF or dragon punch inputs worked.
You were spamming Cammy’s Spiral Arrow just fine.
I distinctly remember it not working half the time I tried, ditto any other input involving the stick. Anyway, it’s a pretty standard fighting game.
Yeah. I used to go into the local laundromat to play this until pretty recently. Sadly, it happened to be right across the street from the Target that got raided in the George Floyd protests, so that whole laundromat is a smoldering pile of ashes right now.
Big oof on that one. Glad you made it out of that ugliness yourself, by the way.
There’s a good reason I don’t live anywhere near that area anymore.
Anyway, here’s Joust.
Joust is a lot of fun. Everyone knows it, but I say it stands up all these years later.
Do you remember how our game went? This is the only one I don’t remember the result of.
I think I won, but it was close.
You don’t really “win” in Joust. It’s co-op.
Well you can make it PvP if you want. The teamwork is purely optional. I should say, I survived the longest.
By the way, my photo-taking was very half-assed at this location so I missed quite a few shots. Did they have a Splatterhouse machine next to this, or am I remembering wrong?
They did. Or at least, I do remember seeing Splatterhouse on this trip.
I’m pretty sure I told you to play it to keep busy while I did my photo-taking rounds. Which would explain why I didn’t get a shot of it.
Splatterhouse is one of the many games from that era that makes you wonder how the hell it got people’s panties into such a twist.
Well, it is pretty gory.
Yeah, but it’s so over the top and cartoonish.
Those bloody leeches are disgusting.
You remember this one?
I do. Tapper is another classic.
You call it a classic, but you didn’t really know how to play it.
I have a coworker who’s a real huge boomer, and he’s talked about this cabinet before as a staple of his youth. So I knew it by osmosis, but I’d never really played it.
This is the most popular game at Up-down Minneapolis, so I’ve gotten quite good at it over the years.
It takes way more finesse than I’ve got.
It’s less “finesse” and more “you’ve got to go FAST”
More a test of your concentration and ability to multitask in a sense. Working under pressure. Like a real bartender!
Exactly. This game’s even sponsored by Budweiser!
How about this one?
Gauntlet?
Yes, Gauntlet. This game I won’t forget. After I picked the warrior, you immediately picked the elf like an asshole.
Can’t help that. Elf is the best.
I died twice because of you and your goddamn elf.
Yeah well this is another one where there was definitely something wrong with the controls. I think I couldn’t go left or something.
That’s pretty normal at larger barcades. Or even larger arcades in general. I don’t think I’ve taken you to one yet that didn’t have a bunch of games with bugged controls.
True.
It’s part of the experience. If you want working controls, play at home.
I used to think Battletoads was rare, but I seem to run into it a lot.
I don’t have a lot to say about it. It’s as frustrating on an arcade machine as it is on an NES.
Well, this is a completely different game than the NES version. It’s got a bit of a cult following these days for the lively animations and gameplay variety. Although I’ve heard it was made as a tech demo to test some of the 3D creation tools that would be used in games like Killer Instinct.
Huh. Testing it on an IP they didn’t care as much about?
Well, it was also the very last Battletoads game, so probably.
As I said, I was out of practice when taking photos, so this is as close as a picture I have of the upper floor.
It was mostly pinball and other assorted junk up there.
The tables and stuff were up here, too.
They did have broken Hydro Thunder. We tried to play this one, but my boat couldn’t turn.
Man, this place was a dive…
I want to call attention to Snow Bros and Goonies because I’ve never seen them anywhere else. I was looking forward to playing Snow Bros because I saw it on Nick Arcade as a kid and didn’t realize it was a real arcade game back then.
Pretend this is Super Smash Bros on N64.
The N64 setup was honestly the most interesting thing about this place. A little alcove with couches and an old CRT TV with Smash running on it. (edit: Tom, it was a projector screen…)
We didn’t even see it the first time because it was hidden in a weird corner. I forgot to close out my tab as we were headed to the car, so we had to go back and saw it in the window.
Yeah, really well hidden. But it was a lot of fun. First time I’ve played the OG smash in years.
It’s definitely the Smash game I’ve put the most hours into. I got the new one recently and got bored of it after like 10 hours.
I think your nostalgia goggles are showing, not to say 64 isn’t a fucking fantastic game.
In the N64 version, you don’t have to learn the reach of 90 goddamn characters to stand a chance online.
The only thing that really makes 64 feel dated is the lack of side-B inputs
Smash 64 is unique because you get punished HARD for even a minor screwup so most of the game is staring each other town fishing for an opening. It reminds me a bit of Samurai Shodown 2
Regardless, playing it live in the barcade was a worthwhile experience. Definitely the best thing they had there.
Here’s the “everything else”, for the sake of archival.
Anyway, I want to hear more of your overall impressions.
My overall impression is that this place was thoroughly mediocre and not worth going to unless you’re already in the vicinity. They didn’t even have any good beers on tap.
You say that, but then I realize all of the arcades I’ve taken you to have been huge. So your standards are a bit strange.
I mean, I’m not an arcade guy like you are. If I’m going to go out of my way to visit one, it should be a big one with something to draw me in. These more average or mediocre arcades don’t strike me as worth a trip in and of themselves.
You’d be surprised. A lot of my favorite arcades have been smaller hole-in-the-wall places. They have a charm you can’t get from bigger ones.
That’s a fair observation, but you’d probably agree that this one doesn’t have such amazing charm.
Nope. But I’d have probably still been impressed by it back when I was first starting out. There are quite a few games I hadn’t seen before I started going to arcades regularly. But now, I’ve been to enough of these places that there’s not much here I haven’t seen done better elsewhere.
Anyhow, that (finally) closes off the archival of our trip to Milwaukee after a year and a half. The Slurpee was a pain to get this time around.
Yeah, we drove around a little to find one, right?
Yep. But we got it. This has been one of my oldest traditions. I had to put it in the fridge overnight, though.
Well, I guess we can close it out there. Good work. (note: Tom lives in the next state over, so we do this over discord. If he doesn’t respond for a while, I assume he’s done and move on. But he started talking again a few minutes later. I don’t know if he realized I ended the post or not, so I’ll just include the next arcade-related stuff we discussed)
Thank you, thank you. Good work to you as well. Scouting these places is its own heap of work too, I imagine.
No, it’s just something I do. Sometimes I get caught up in it and spent hours looking for arcades in random places. Two days ago, it was Maine.
Any plans to go to Maine?
It’s one of my potential plans for a trip this year, but there are bobcats and stuff. Now’s probably a good time to ask if you want to do something this year. When we discussed it in Milwaukee, I did say I’d hold you to it.
I’m down to do something in the region, but I don’t think I’d want to go to Maine or somewhere far-flung.
Maine is a place I’d go by myself and backpack through. It’s ******** I said I wanted to go to!
It’s pretty wild country, but you’re used to that. The hiking is going to be a lot of fun for you, I think. Where in ********, again?
“Various places” Hang on, I’ll dig up my map. I keep them for all of the interesting places.
Are you thinking this summer?
Summer, fall, whenever. I just need to go to a damn arcade. It’s been YEARS.
This is my map (blurred for the blog). Green are high priority arcades, yellow are mid-priority, and red are garbage marked for the sake of reference. Many of those are in danger and may not be around much longer, if every other arcade is any indication.
So it seems like the *******/*** ***** area is the most promising…
And there you have it. Plans are set for my first real arcade voyage since Denver in 2019. I’ve been DYING for this. I’ve blurred it out to keep you in suspense, but those arcades on my map… let’s just say they’re perfect for a first journey out in forever.
And even if he flakes, there’s always Maine!
