Oh boy. Wildwood. From the beginning, this was the blog post I’d been dreading. Wildwood has several arcades, but few of them gave me anything to talk about. They were similar to the less exciting arcades in Ocean City and Rehoboth. You know, the ones with a ton of claw machines, coin pushers, and other such games? Even I was getting sick of them by now. Thankfully, every place I visited after this was far more fun and interesting.
After much consideration, here’s what we’re going to do:
Welcome to Wildwood, NJ: Speed Edition! A look at every arcade in Wildwood, but with a fraction of the text! If something particularly noteworthy pops up, I’ll go into it a bit more, but don’t expect it to happen often. Don’t worry; you’ll understand the reason for this format soon.
Our first arcade of the day is Payboy’s Arcade, proudly advertising its high payout rates.
Arcades Visited: 18
Wildwood Arcades: 1
As you can see, it looks exactly as you’ve come to expect from these places by now. Cruisin’, Jurassic Park, Big Bass Wheel, Space Invaders Frenzy… The gang’s all here!
Here’s a better shot at the weird shelving system they had going on here.
Next up, we’ve got Ed’s Funcade 3! I think it’s 3, anyway. It could also have been 2…
Arcades Visited: 19
Wildwood Arcades: 2
Is this the best internal shot I got of the place? Well, whatever. This is one of the more extensive arcades on the beach, so there’s a bit more material to work with.
First up are the money booths that are common at arcades on this beach. You see, gambling’s legal here, so the arcades have a bit of a casino mentality. I’ll get back to this later.
This is a claw machine variant where you grab golden eggs instead of stuffed toys. Some of those eggs have real money, which probably wouldn’t fly legally in most states.
I didn’t realize they made so many variations of these economy Skee Ball machines.
Another one? Are you kidding me??
Bobby Dee’s Casino-Arcade. In most places, that would mean a casino with a small arcade in the corner. In Wildwood, it implies an arcade with a handful of slot machines.
Arcades Visited: 20
Wildwood Arcades: 3
Did I not get a shot of the inside of this place? Whatever they all run together in my head.
Anyone who reads my blog regularly knows I’m a sucker for this kind of thing.
So this here is Mariner’s Arcade. This one’s attached to a small boardwalk amusement park. You can see the Ferris Wheel behind the arcade sign if you look carefully.
Arcades Visited: 21
Wildwood Arcades: 4
In terms of sheer floor space, it’s probably the biggest on the walk.
However, 90% of the floor space is coin pushers and claw machines. It’s kind of surreal looking.
Speaking of surreal-looking, lining a bunch of Monster Drop X-Treme up like this is a sight to behold. It almost reminds me of an aquarium.
Space Invaders Frenzy and World’s Largest Pac-man next to each other for comparison.
Skeeball’s a big deal in beach towns. There’s an active Skeeball community in most of them that holds regular tournaments and meetups. They treat it like a sport.
This is Lime Ricky World, yet another arcade (and in a rare display of negligence, this is the only outside shot of it I got). To go into the money booth, you need to win a raffle. To enter the raffle, you need a specific score in Skeeball. Everything comes back to Skeeball here.
Arcades Visited: 22
Wildwood Arcades: 5
I can’t make heads or tails of what that Deal or No Deal thing on the wall is about. Does it have something to do with the arcade Deal or No Deal they had in the building? Does getting a high score at Skeeball let you open the suitcases for a chance to go in the money machine? Does getting said high score let you go in the money machine, and the Deal or No Deal thing is just a cute way of advertising it? I have no frickin’ idea. Word your signs better.
Also, there’s yet another Spider stomp stucked away behind the tabasco.
I can’t remember a thing about this arcade other than this. This upper prize shelf ran along almost every wall in the entire arcade. I’m burnt out on looking at boardwalk arcade prizes, but even I was impressed.
They had three of these Pikachu in their own chairs at different points in the building.
I was getting hungry around this time. The guy working here was calling out that a slice of pepperoni was only a dollar, so I went for it.
It’s no Delaware pizza, that’s for sure. Worth the dollar, though.
Here’s that boardwalk amusement park I mentioned earlier.
Okay.
Gateway 26. This one was bizarre because it was a weird fusion of a casino and an arcade. It made me a bit leery of taking pictures inside. Seriously, don’t take photos anywhere near gambling machines. I speak from experience.
Arcades Visited: 23
Wildwood Arcades: 6
I did grab a few quick pictures of machines while nobody was looking. This is House of the Dead 2. It’s the only game in the series I’ve ever see a booth-style cab for. It might have been the only one that got one.
Let’s Go Island, the sequel to Let’s Go Jungle. I have a lot to say about this one. Don’t worry; we’ll be seeing it again soon.
Okay, I was right before. THIS is Ed’s Funcade 2. It’s like the other Ed’s Funcade, except 2 instead of 3.
Arcades Visited: 24
Wildwood Arcades: 7
Do people really accidentally wander into the wrong building while looking for this arcade?
Here’s the inside. It looks like every other arcade I’ve been to today.
Seriously, what the hell? It’s been years since I’ve seen this game, yet there are THREE of them in this town!
Well. Ed’s Funcade 1 was closed. I can probably guess what was inside it.
And that’s the end of the boardwalk: 7 arcades and nothing worthwhile in any of them.
Well, there was one other…
Remember When Retro arcade. According to the signs filling the arcade, it was built on an episode of Hoarders.
Remember When Arcade is notorious for its unpleasant owner. Most reviews of the arcade I can find are full of horror stories of the guy getting mad at them for having their phone out and following them around the arcade until they left. The change machine gives you three quarters for each dollar you put in. During my visit, he spent the whole time fixated on a wall of security cameras to ensure none of the three customers were doing anything wrong. From all the interviews I’ve seen with him, he likes comparing himself to Willy Wonka. That comparison is chillingly accurate, but probably not for the reasons he thinks.
This arcade was probably the most depressing time I had during my entire vacation. This arcade was loaded with antique machines, mainly from the 70s, that I’d never seen before. They even had classic pre-video racing games that used a projector screen. Despite that, it’s impossible to feel comfortable in this arcade.
UPDATE: As expected, this arcade shut down a year or two later. All that remains of it are a couple of images floating around the internet and a single video. Personally, I hate it when arcades shut down and fade into obscurity, but I can’t say it was undeserved in this case. The owner did start a replacement arcade at some point, but I’m not sure he learned anything from the first one. His strange fixation with secrecy makes it hard to tell whether or not it’s still open. Perhaps he romanticizes the idea that arcades exist in the present and deserve to be forgotten when they close? Wouldn’t that make him my natural enemy?
Six years and 160 arcades later, this is still the one I consider to be the worst arcade I’ve ever visited. After visiting it, I promised myself I would never own a single arcade cabinet. Remember When showed me a glimpse of a road I’d rather avoid.
DAY THREE FINAL TOTAL:
Arcades Visited: 25
Wildwood Arcades: 8
Arcade Visited on Day 3: 11
Now, do you understand why I dreaded this blog post so much!? Wildwood certainly did it for me if I wasn’t burnt out on these generic boardwalk arcades before this. These first three days were a bit trying on me. Thank you for bearing with this blog post.
